This morning I was doing some work for a consulting client while you slept upstairs and I meandered onto one of my favourite blogs; and for some reason in particular it made me cry.
We all have dreams. Some minor. Some major. Some impossible.
JAS you were an impossible dream that I really never ever thought possible because of some complex issues. The last 5 years have been an incredibly painful journey with some horrible heartbeak and yet, none of that is important anymore because you are here. I don’t think I realised how over the last eight months I have been healing and being rebuilt because of your little miraculous spirit.
You are such a little bundle of joy and happiness that it is mind-boggling. You laugh and laugh and laugh and know how to whip out the most beautiful smile to tug at heart-strings young and old. You need no introduction to make friends and even though you are just a wee baby, are the life and soul of the party at the childminders. Children much older want to give you hugs, bring you toys and get a giggle and if swamped by people, you are in your element.
Yet you also like your quiet time and to be cuddled. You are especially partial to my hair – to play with, comb or pull out in fistfuls (sigh). In the mornings you are very content to spend an hour plus in your playpen working out how the square piece does indeed fit into the round whole if its big enough, talking to your stuff animal entourage and playing with your toes. At some point though a light bulb goes off in your head and you want to be hugged and entertained.
Oh and you so desperately want to crawl and spend a lot of time on your belly with your arms and legs outstretched as if you could fly and crying in frustration. One day soon you are going to toy across the room and just speed crawl to it. For both of our sanity – I hope that happens soon!
Then there is the food. I don’t think you are a budding Jamie Oliver as food time seems quite a hit or miss adventure. You do have a thing for things I think are relatively sour – tomatoes, plan Greek yogurt, parsnips.
I am though thankful that you sleep … most of the time. You have though sussed that if you scream at 2 am I am likely to put you in the big bed. Don’t think I don’t see the ‘Happy Dance Wiggles’ in the dark! You will learn that Mama’s know all the tricks (and we have eyes at the back of our heads), but sometimes we also like to cuddle.
It is especially at such moments when I can feel your little heart beating that it reminds me of when I was pregnant and could feel your heart beating inside of me when sitting still. What a journey this has been.
Now its time to wake you up, go for a coffee with a friend and head to business meetings.
Happy Eight Months JAS
I love you!